To old friends
by SJC8
Summary: Following the death of his friend Major Kowalski, Colonel Jack O'Neill questions himself and finds and unexpected comfort in someone new. Spoilers for 'Children of the Gods' and 'The Enemy Within'


Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or any of the characters. I'm not making any money form this so please don't sue me. Thanks very much folks :-)

This short takes place after 'The Enemy within' and before 'Emancipation'

It bugged me how Kawalsky's death wasn't really addressed and how Sam knew about the Colonel's telescope in 'Singularity'. Also it builds some warmth in the friendship between O'Neill and Carter who seem very cold at the start of Season one but then get over it very quickly by 'Emancipation'. This also is a bit of a nod to one of my all time favourite fan fictions '1991' by Starbuck92.

Old friends and new beginnings

_Second revision 28/10/07_

Standing in the backyard of his home staring up at the stars Colonel Jack O'Neill pondered the day's events with a heavy heart.

Less than a week after stepping back through the Stargate into their war with the Go'auld, he had lost his friend Major Charles Kawalsky.

As per his last request to O'Neill, Kawalsky had been cremated followed by an honorable service, fitting of the finest Air Force officer. A speech from General Hammond, 21 gun salute and a neatly folded flag for his family to take home.

Before going through the Stargate the first time to Abydos, Jack had considered suicide over the death of his young son. He could not forgive himself for leaving his hand gun loaded in the house in reach of his child, that day he lost everything he cared for. During the mission to Abydos Kawalsky had fought side by side with Jack, along with Daniel Jackson's help they defeated Ra and freed the people of the planet. In doing so, Jack had found a reason to live.

Now after coming out of retirement to fight the Go'auld, Jack questioned his return as again he had lost someone who meant a lot to him.

Behind him in his house, numerous SGC personnel including his new team and General Hammond were attending the wake held for Kawalsky. After faking smiles and making the rounds, Jack didn't have the desire or heart to speak to any of them anymore. Seeing Kawalsky's elderly mother receive the flag at the end of the service had struck a chord in Jack and he was left with a feeling of utter emptiness at the loss of a good man. He sympathized with the old woman, no parent should outlive their child.

It was getting late as the first stars started to appear in the night sky, people had begun to leave drifting their separate ways. Captain Samantha "Sam" Carter saw the Colonel from the back door of his home, he had been staring into space for the last hour and she had begun to get concerned. Although her posting at the SGC had barely been over a week and she had not had much of a chance to get to know her team outside their working roles, she knew enough to know that Colonel O'Neill had lost a good friend and was feeling that lost deeply. Picking up a couple of fresh beers from the fridge, she took a deep breath and walked out the backdoor towards where the Colonel was standing.

He hadn't heard her approach and was still lost in his reverie as she stood beside him.

"Sir?"

Drawn back from the swirl of memories Jack turned to see Carter, the newest member of his team brought in by Hammond, offering him a beer.

"Thanks" he took it from her and frowned at the bottle, closely studying the condensation on the glass unsure what to say, he didn't exactly feel like being social.

"To Major Kawalsky Sir" She held up her beer and they clinked the glass bottles together before taking a long drink "I didn't know him for long but I saw enough to know he was a good man. I wish I could have got to know him better"

Jack regarded the face of the young Captain in front of him. There was nothing hollow in her tribute to the Major; she was not looking for any kind of pat on the back from her CO. As Carter looked out at the night sky, she wore the same expression of lament that had been all over his own face since he had been stood out there.

"Yeah, Captain, he was one of the best"

They stood together for a time in a comfortable silence watching as the stars became brighter and more plentiful and the last vestiges of daylight melted from the sky.

"Sir, I know I've not been here long, and we haven't had much of a chance to get to know each other, I guess we're all kind of new here, but um… I just wanted to say… I understand how you're feeling right now."

She paused, wondering how if she was reaching him, if he even appreciated that she was trying or just saw her as a junior officer that was sticking her nose where it didn't belong, and considered her next words carefully.

"In the Gulf I lost someone… a very good friend of mine... It was… difficult. I guess what I'm trying to say Sir, is that you don't have to go through this alone, if you want to talk. "

He listened to her little speech and frowned at his beer bottle. Sam looked at him a little nervous and confused trying to figure out what was going on in his head. He had the best poker face going, he didn't appear to be mad at her but he hadn't said anything either. As she stood waiting for a reaction from him, the night air felt cold against her skin and Sam suppressed a shiver. Getting no response from him and starting the feel the chill of the night Sam decided to leave the Colonel to his thoughts in peace.

"I'm uh, going to go back inside now Colonel."

Sam turned slowly back towards the house and started to make her way inside, leaving O'Neill as she had found him.

Looking back over his shoulder, he regarded the Captain as she walked back towards the house. He hadn't spent much time getting to know her. Daniel he knew from before, their mission to Abydos, but Sam had been assigned to his team from Hammond. He didn't really know her or the General that well but her file was more than impressive, not just the science; her military credentials were testament to a fine young officer. He had to admit, she was a contradiction: military officer, a brilliant scientist and to top it off she wasn't your usual brand of military woman. She had a feminine grace to her that betrayed her background. Truth be told, she was the kind of woman that Jack probably would have been trying to get a date with if he had been 10 years younger and if she and wasn't under his command.

Seeing her here at his house, offering her shoulder to cry on as it were, soldier to soldier, it made him feel bad about giving her such a hard time back in the briefing room with Hammond. Taking another gulp of the beer she had brought out to him, he winced at the memory.

"Captain!" he called to her from where he stood across the lawn.

She turned to him and bit the inside if her cheek, if he was pissed at her then this would be the moment he chose to let her know.

"Sir?"

"Thanks. I appreciate it" He gave her a tight smile before looking back at the beer in his hand.

Sam Carter nodded slowly, understanding him in silence. He was not a talkative man but he appreciated what she was trying to do none the less.

"Everything is cleared away inside, it's just Dr Jackson and myself left. I'm going to head home now. Goodnight Sir."

Touched by her consideration and having realised he'd said nothing to her all day until now he was reluctant for her to leave just yet.

"Before you go, there's something I would like you to see. It'll only take a few minutes, if that's OK. You don't have to be anywhere, do you?"

Confused and surprised, it took Sam a moment to answer him "Uh, no Sir, I was just going to leave you guys to it"

"Follow me" he motioned with his beer bottle, the other hand stuffed into the pockets of his pale sand coloured trousers.

Sam followed him over to a ladder at the back of his home and watched him climb up wondering where on earth he was taking her and what he could possibly have on his roof top that he'd want to show her.

After reaching the roof he turned and looked back down to where she was standing, her brilliant blue eyes shining in the light coming through the window of his house.

"Up here"

Curiosity creased her brow as Sam started to climb the ladder. Once she reached the top and could see over the edge of the roof, she paused with complete surprise at what she saw. There on O'Neill's roof was a telescope and deck chair surrounded by a few well thumbed amateur stargazing books.

"Wow, you have a telescope? I didn't expect this"

O'Neill smiled at her surprise "So are you coming up here or what?"

Shaking off the wonder and getting back to reality, she continued up the last step of the ladder and went to sit down beside the Colonel who was now aligning the scope and adjusting the magnification so that it focused on a small cluster of stars.

"Here, take a look"

Sam knelt down beside the Colonel and shifted herself to see through the lens instantly recognising what she saw.

"The constellation of Taurus"

"Yeah, that's where the name comes from right? Tau'ri" Jack asked her before taking another long draw of his beer and crouching down beside her.

"Yes Sir. It's one of the key constellations that forms the co-ordinates for Earth. It's also my star sign, if you believe in all that stuff" Sam smiled still looking through the telescope and adjusting the magnification to get a closer look at the stars.

"Really? When's your birthday?"

Sam pulled back from the telescope to regard him for a second, seeing a different side to the tough, reserved Colonel. He seemed more approachable, more human that she had figured him to be at their first meeting. In truth, he was so difficult to read that Sam didn't know what to make of him.

"May 8th"

"Victory in Europe day?"

"Trust a military man to know that!" Sam smiled and shook her head teasing him at the reference

"Well then, now I have no excuse not to remember" He replied in mock humour at her teasing.

Another shiver snuck up on Sam and she rubbed her arms to warm them. The dark knee length skirt and short sleeved shirt that she wore offered no comfort against the chill of the air. Jack reached over and took the jacket that he had left hanging on the back of the deck chair the night before and wrapped it over the young Captains shoulders.

"Don't get cold"

"Thank you" she smiled at him gratefully. Who said Chivalry was dead?

"This reminds me of being 8 years old in the tree house with my own telescope. I used to sit out there for hours. When it was warm I'd take my sleeping bag stay out there all night, pretend I was actually _in _space."

Jack smiled at his new 2IC remembering the exchange in the briefing room, the moment they met and Kawalsky's teasing. Suddenly he realised, since he had been on the roof with Sam he hadn't felt the emptiness that had plagued him through the day.

"Did you know then that you wanted to be a Theoretical Astro.. What is it?"

"Theoretical Astrophysicist. No sir, not exactly" She chuckled slightly at the thought "Actually I wanted to be an Astronaught, explore space and understand the universe"

Quietly listening to her O'Neill began to develop a new understanding of Samantha 'Sam' Carter. She looked up at the sky then turned the telescope towards a new constellation and adjusted the magnification to create a sharp image in the viewing lens

"This was always my favourite place to look. It's the first nebula I saw with my own scope, the one in Orion's belt. "

Sam moved over to let O'Neill see through the lens, she had aligned the scope and set the magnification perfectly to show the stunning swirls of pink, yellow, and red gasses punctuated with tiny blue stars. Something she had clearly done many times. O'Neill had spent hours out on the roof before now playing with the telescope but he was not as skilled as setting it up as she was.

"You know, Orion hunted the bull Taurus" O'Neill said still looking through the scope at the nebula.

"Yeah, I guess it is a little ironic"

Sam watched him with curiosity. Who was this man? He seemed such a contradiction, she never expected a hardened black ops trained military Colonel to watch stars on his roof, let alone understand the mythology behind the constellations. He turned towards her catching her gaze with his dark chocolate brown eyes, Sam was held by the intensity they held before quickly looking back towards the telescope.

Knowing he had surprised her by revealing his roof top hobby and seeing her trying to figure him out he smiled inwardly.

"So what did you expect?"

Sam snapped her head back to him caught off guard by his questions as though he had read her mind

"Sir?"

"When you came up here you said you didn't expect this. What did you expect?"

He knew he was challenging her and he didn't look away, he just watched her shift under his gaze and try to figure out how to answer him.

Knowing what he was up, to putting her on the spot, suddenly she lost some of her nervousness rising to his question to answer him honestly.

"Truthfully Sir, I don't know. You not exactly like most of the ex Black ops Air Force Colonels that I've met before"

"How many have you met?" He asked quizzically.

"You'd be surprised." she tipped her head and smiled wryly. "I guess a lot of them are your typical old boys club, Air Force regulation issue starched personality. Not really the type to play with a telescope on the roof of their house"

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at her description.

"Yeah I guess a lot of the 'old boys' are a bit of a cliché. I hate cliché."

He smiled at her in a mischievous way that made his eyes sparkle in the starlight.

Sam grinned at him, she liked this Colonel better than the one she had pictured when they first met and was starting to cast off some of the silent trepidation she had felt about working in the male dominated field unit at the SGC. True, this posting was everything she ever wanted, but the attitudes she had come up against in the briefing room, not for the first time in her Air Force career, made her expect a shaky start.

"I have to admit Captain; you're not exactly a typical science geek"

He raised his eyebrows at her half expecting some kind of diatribe in defence of egg heads.

Sam chuckled at the reference, knowing that she didn't exactly square with a lot of the government scientists that she had encountered in her work at the Pentagon, mainly on account of the lack of a comb over and check flannel shirt. Always considering herself as Air Force Officer first and then scientist.

"Geek, sir?"

She teased, grinning at him, throwing down the same gauntlet, challenging him to explain.

"Yeah, I've not met another scientist that's flown in the gulf and challenges people to arm wrestle within minutes of meeting their CO for the first time"

She laughed at the memory and nodded. "Well, I guess you got me there"

They settled back into a comfortable silence each with a new understanding of the other their thoughts drifting over the loss of their friend and the precipice of a new beginning that awaited them with the Stargate.

"It's getting late, I should probably get going now sir" Sam stood shrugging out of the jacket that Jack had loaned her before handing it back to him. He took it from her and smiled as he watched her climb down the ladder from the roof, once she was on the ground he followed her down and walked her back to the house.

"Thank you Captain"

"Sir?"

"For staying"

Sam smiled and nodded while picking up her jacket from the hall. "Good night Sir, see you tomorrow."

"Good night Captain"

He watched her get into her car drive away before closing the door to find Daniel Jackson standing in the hallway next to him.

"Was that Dr Carter leaving?"

"Captain Carter? Yeah"

Daniel frowned and looked at the floor, still feeling out of sorts staying with Jack while he adjusted to life back on Earth.

"You were out there a while, are you ok?"

Jack passed him and slumped down on the sofa to contemplate finishing his beer. "Sure, just thinking about Kawalsky. Getting to know Carter a little better."

"Another scientist huh? I always thought you couldn't stand scientists" Daniel smiled a little, knowing he may have had something to do with Jack's new found tolerance.

Jack regarded Daniel side on wondering just how he had ended up with a team of scientists and an Alien Jaffa now that Hammond had got the approval over the red phone.

Daniel continued unfazed by his silence as usual "She seems nice, though I can't quite figure out why she's in the Air Force"

"It's because we have all the cool toys Daniel, you know that" Jack answered him with a smile.

"Of course."

Jack finished the remnants of his beer and pulled himself back out of the slouch of the sofa.

"Speaking of cool toys, I'm going to go to bed ready for tomorrow morning's briefing. Our first mission with Teal'c"

A dark shadow passed over Daniels face for a moment as he remembered Sha're and wondered where she was in the galaxy, if she was holding on ok. Jack read into his face and saw the fear and worry his friend had for his wife. Seeing it so fresh and raw in the younger man he was reminded why he had come back to the Stargate programme, why it was important to stop the Go'auld. It wouldn't just Kawalsky, one good man that died; there was a galaxy full of planets where good people were enslaved, suffering and dying under Go'auld occupation. People like Sha're and Skaara.

Jack reached out and put a hand on Daniels shoulder catching the younger mans eyes with his own.

"We'll find them Daniel. That's what we're here for"

Daniel nodded taking comfort in his friend's words. He may not always agree with Jack or understand his military ways but he trusted him and that trust gave him confidence. They stood for a moment together as pain of their mutual losses pushed aside for a while to let hope take its place.

Eventually Daniel raised his head to look into Jacks eyes with a new resolve.

"Yeah, we will"


End file.
